Strength Like Job

There had once been a discussion early in the development of “The Serenity of Knowing,” which presented a series of “what ifs.” The more dooming question was, “What if you don’t live to finish?” Well, I must admit that these last 18 months have been quite challenging. I suffered a catastrophic illness in the summer and fall of 2010. My partner of twenty years passed away late this past winter. Now it’s near the end of fall 2011, and I’ve just had two invasive surgeries, while one of my favorite relatives is passing through death’s door. All that is left to do now is to love him.

There are moments when I think that I should take mind of Job. Then I think, why not Job? He remained steady in his beliefs. Then after a long bout of hideous trials he was restored. The Serenity of Knowing has waited untouched on my desk for these few weeks while I convalesce yet again. It has waited before. I look at the pages that are remaining to be copied, and their number is daunting. It will be another week or so before I have the strength to sit up and write. What will happen in the future is out of my hands. All I can do is have faith.

As published in the December 2011 issue of "St. Peter's Press," the monthly newsletter of St. Peter's Presbyterian Church in Spencertown, New York. At the time of publication, Phillip was still in the throes of the Apocrypha.